The original “hyper-chondriac,” author and humorist Brian Frazer shows you why pets can calm your road rage.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
If you’re having trouble relaxing, you might want to try what I did.
Get a dog. Or a cat. Or a ferret, alpaca, peacock, squirrel or white tiger like Siegfried and Roy.
Studies have shown that pet owners live longer.
And adopting Kenyon, my 22-pound terrier, has already extended my life.
I have such road rage, it’s a miracle I haven’t been shot by someone even more road-rage-ier than me.
Luckily, Kenyon, is magically able to anticipate my moods and actions.
On our first drive together, a car cut in front of me without signaling.
Before I could explode at the other driver, my mutt scratched me with his tiny paw, as if he were requesting my composure.
I had no choice but to grant him his wish. I didn’t want to upset him.
I soon developed a mantra that helped me not overreact. “What Would Kenyon Do?”
Yeah, it sounds pretty stupid but it’s a great litmus test.
When I got angry because a business call wasn’t returned, I’d think, “What Would Kenyon Do?’
Easy. He’d lie in the sun and shut his eyes.
When a cell phone went off in the movie theater, I’d wonder “What Would Kenyon Do?”
Simple. He’d listen to the semi-melodic tone and flash his pointy smile.
When I was about to yell at someone because they’d stolen the parking spot I’d been waiting for, I’d ponder, “What Would Kenyon Do?”
He’d wag his tail at the people in the car. Which I pretend to do, but don’t actually wiggle my rear-end around.
I just hope hanging around with me all day isn’t making him miss the pound.