Money is a common source of stress and disagreement for couples. Here’s how to keep financial issues from undermining your relationship.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
GRETA: I’m Greta, I work full time as a scientist.
JOEY: I’m Joey, a part-time journalism student and I’ve been unempoyed a year and a half.
GRETA: I like to save money a little bit more and um it makes me a little uncomfortable when we spend money on things we don’t really need.
We sometimes argue about things that are things that we really need and things that we don’t.
JOEY: My philosophy is that we do need to save money but we don’t need to pinch the pennies till we’re strangling them.
GRETA: His buying style is if he looks at it and see it as a good deal, a good value then he thinks that we should buy it. Just a few weeks ago he bought a big case of the macaroni and cheese.
JOEY: It was a good deal per box. It was a box of twenty macaroni and cheese for only $4.
GRETA: Just because you find a good deal doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy it. The TV was a bad decision. We didn’t need the TV this time, but he found a good deal and decided to buy it.
It was so big we didn’t have anything to put it on so we had to go buy more furniture so it had a place to sit.
JOEY: She thinks we should not have gotten and she will probably hold that against me until one of us dies.
GRETA: The biggest frustration I have with out budget is that we can’t decide between what we need and what we want and that always leads to a big argument. So what kind of suggestions do you have for us to work thru that argument?
DR. ANGELA: Greta and Joey are not alone. Money is a common source of stress and disagreement for many couples. But too often they don’t discuss their financial expectations until there’s a conflict. Here are some tips to help you deal with the stress associated with money matters:
First, agree on a budget. Anything beyond the budget needs to be discussed before it’s bought.
Sometimes conflict around money mirrors other issues in the relationship. If these issues are not being talked about, they may manifest themselves in other ways like financial conflict. Communicating openly and honestly about the true problems might help your relationship grow more stable.
It’s important that each person understands his or her own values. One partner may value living in the moment and not feel the need to save, while the other may believe that saving for a rainy day is much more important. Couples need to candidly express their values when it comes to financial matters and work on creating a compromise that they both can live with.
If couples like Greta and Joey can communicate and compromise when it comes to their differences on financial matters, the pay-off, both emotionally and financially, can be great.